Okay okay okay… let’s talk about JEAN shopping. If I was Kanye, I would insist that jean shopping deserves the Worst-Shopping-Experience-Of-All-Time Award. Of all TIME. I think most of my fitness friends will agree: jeans are the devil in a mask of acid-washed denim.
Let me also preface this by saying that even before my fitness journey I hated jean shopping. At the age of 9, I remember grumbling as my mother took me from store-to-store to stock up on jeans during the Back To School season. At the time, I just thought it was lame (but also way better than dress shopping). Looking back, though, I was 9 years old wearing size 9 women’s jeans. That’s completely insane. At this very moment of writing this blog post, I am a size 8.
I have to stress the “moment” part because jean sizes fluctuate. They fluctuate to align with styles, specific stores/brands, and even time (anyone remember when the size “double zero” didn’t exist?). They change almost as much as your body changes. I’m not as lean as I was 3 months ago. As a result, my muffin top is a lot more noticeable than it was in October. The reverse can also be true. You could be getting really lean, starting to get some quad separation (!!!) and your jeans, with an evil zipper-toothed grin, laugh and say, “Not today, quads. Not today.”
And with all of this sadistic pleasure your jeans partake in, every one of us still needs at least one pair. I mean, would Casual Friday even exist if it weren’t for jeans? Would I still be a great Canadian if I didn’t have a Canadian Tuxedo in my closet?
I’ll leave these philosophical questions to the experts and I’ll also leave the jean shopping to the very last possible second. If jeans are an absolute pleasure for you to shop for, call me insanely jealous – because once I enter the realm of low-rise vs. super low-rise and bootcut vs. these-make-me-look-anything-BUT skinny jeans I lose every ounce of joy shopping once brought me.