The $#!T Nobody Tells You About Having an Injury

A few weeks ago, I revealed the reason why I’ve been absent from writing. For a while, it was because I only had one hand to write with and I felt as if I had nothing to contribute to the fitness community as an injured athlete.

As the initial injury travels further and further into the past, I’m beginning to realize that injuries are a very real and very imminent part of any athlete’s journey – you can do countless shoulder pass-throughs or have a physio on speed dial and still experience injury in some shape or form. If it’s so prevalent, why don’t we talk about it?

In the online fitness community, you won’t find many posts about failures, missed reps, or sub-par eating. That’s because content that solicits anger or sadness as responses doesn’t yield the same type of virility or shareability that inspiring or joyful posts create. Although failure and off-days are a part of any training cycle, it’s just not talked about because it is just plain ugly. We don’t discuss failure (injury or otherwise) because it’s not ideal or convenient.

I’ve been talking about my injury for a long time now. 3 months and 3 days, to be exact. I’ve become comfortable about talking about the uncomfortable and there are a few things I’ve learned about dealing with an injury psychologically. When you’re an athlete or just active in nature, injuries don’t just impede you physically. The mental recovery can be the hardest journey yet. You can follow exercise programming and a nutrition plan, but no one gives you the mental toolbox to deal with emotions post-injury. This post aims to expose the ugliness of injury recovery, mainly the things your doctor or physiotherapist can’t equip you for – the things Fitness Instagram hides in the attic for no one to see. It’s honest and real and to those that have been injured doing what you love, I hope you find this relatable. For those that haven’t experienced a major injury,

This post aims to expose the ugliness of injury recovery – mainly the things your doctor or physiotherapist can’t equip you for, the things Fitness Instagram hides in the attic for no one to see. It’s honest and real to those that have been injured doing what they love. I hope you find this relatable and for those that haven’t experienced a major injury, I hope you will never have to return to this page for advice.

You’re not the only one that’s hurting

This part of the process took me way longer to realize than it should’ve. Whether you’ve been under the knife or are just nursing a dislocated what-have-you, your caregiver (partner, SO, mother, father, sibling, roommate…) is probably in just as much pain as you are.

I thought I had it bad. After all, I waited 18 hours in a hospital to be knocked out, cut open, poked at, and yanked back into consciousness in the span of three hours. I was in rough shape, to say the least. But Andrew, my fiancé, waited with me all night in that dingy hospital bed and helped me do just about everything. His once independent, strong fiancée needed him to help her get to the bathroom or change her clothes. Looking back, I know now just how upsetting that must’ve been for him. When I asked him later, he admitted to shedding a few tears in the back of the ambulance when I first broke the arm.

For the first time, your caregiver is absolutely helpless. They can send you all of the bouquets and boxes of chocolates in the world, but it still does nothing to accelerate the healing process. They can’t make this injury go away.

Communication with your partner is more important now than it ever was. Be kind to each other, and don’t be afraid to talk it out with your SO. They’re your biggest fan, and they’re sure to lend a listening ear.

Asking for help doesn’t get easier

For ladies who lift, we know the struggle. Unwanted gym bros often interfere with our sets with bullshit excuses like “let me spot you on that” or “let me help you with those.” If I needed someone to spot me, I would go and ask.

After my injury, I found myself struggling to muster the courage to reach out and ask for help. I went from being able to do a solid 80lb Overhead Press to not even being able to lift a 45lb empty barbell. Asking for help became incredibly tough – especially in a room full of strong people. This became even worse when my cast came off. I looked capable, but I was only prescribed loads weighing in at 10lbs max. Would people look down on me for asking for help? Why even walk into a gym if I couldn’t lift a barbell properly?

Asking for help didn’t get easier, but the ability to swallow my pride eventually did. If anyone gave me guff about helping me re-rack plates, this was a prime opportunity to flex and show off my scar and that usually persuaded any nay-sayers.

Fiber will become your favourite food group

Fun fact: the first hospital I visited after my break gave me absolutely NO PAIN MEDICATION. This hospital was about 3 hours from my home. That car ride home was agonizing, to say the least.

When my family doctor finally wrote me a prescription for a kick ass painkiller cocktail, I was all over that ish… until I sat on a toilet a few days later.

Constipation is no joke, let me tell you. Pre-injury I was so regular, I could schedule it in my calendar down to the minute. If you’re prescribed any pain killer, I recommend pairing it with a stool softener. I won’t go into detail about my own bathroom experiences, but it is humiliating to try and unclog a toilet with one hand. It’s even more humiliating to call your dad to come home and help you unclog said-toilet. Ahem.

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Nobody said injury is the most glamourous thing to ever experience, but these are some of the things no doctor will spell out for you. Above all, try to remember to be kind to yourself. You will get impatient and irritable, but no amount of screaming or physical therapy will help you heal faster. Focus on activities you can do for now, and let your body do the thing.

The problem with #TransformationTuesday: Why you should stop demonizing your “Before” self

For some, killer transformation photos are the reason they do this whole fitness thing in the first place.

Scan any #TransformationTuesday hashtag and you’ll see a common theme: Phrases like “I can’t believe I allowed myself to be that big” or “I feel so disgusted looking at the left photo” echo like a comedic soundboard as you scroll through endless left-right comparisons.

There is undoubtedly a lot of work and dedication that go into any transformation photo – no matter how small the changes are. However, what’s problematic is the self-deprecating talk. This isn’t a contest for how many euphemisms for fat you can string together in a single Instagram caption. Embracing fitness and fitting an active lifestyle into your routine should improve you. Making everything about the tangible results isn’t the point.

For me, fitness quite literally saved my life. I found purpose and found my sport – something my nine year-old wheezing, soccer-playing self wouldn’t have ever dreamt of. In my 20’s and after a bad break up, I found an outlet for my sad energy. Instead of letting inferiority and heartbreak stew and simmer deep inside of me, physically pushing, running, or stomping it out gave me a sense of control over my emotions I didn’t have before. My initial goals were transformational in nature, but today, I am much more appreciative of the confidence and drive fitness and gym-going have given me. It’s a priceless gift that I encourage everyone embarking on a fitness journey to find for themselves – whatever your “fitness” is.

That gift is precisely the reason why you shouldn’t discount that girl/guy on the left. You gave yourself that gift in the moment you decided to make a change. As much as it hurts to look at your left hand-self, that’s still you in that photo. I admire Left-Me for taking the steps (baby-sized and giant) towards where I am today. I went from a predominantly sedentary lifestyle of work, home, study, repeat to fitting in activity where I could, and finally to committing to a sport I love. I admire the strength (both the figurative and literal kind) it took for Before-Me to get where I am today. I respect myself, present and past, for all of the progress and decisions made thus far.

Don’t get hung up on the “I wishes” of life. Many times I have scolded myself for not incorporating working out earlier in my life, but what matters is that I’m here today and thoroughly enjoying my fitness routine. It’s never too late to start something new – whether it’s fitness, a new book, or learning opportunity. Focus on the You that exists, lives, breathes in this moment and not on your unchangeable past.

Why you should ditch your inferiority complex and make the grass greener where you water it

That guy’s shoulder caps are bigger than my head. 

Look at her! Why can’t I lose these last 10lbs?

I just wish I had her genes (the DNA kind).

If you’ve frequented any gym, chances are these thoughts have trickled into your self-talk regimen. It’s unfortunate, unhealthy, and yet it’s automatic behaviour. Comparative and competitive instincts are just human nature and take a lot of conscious correcting to control.

I started this blog to talk about fitness, but also to remain transparent about my experiences as I take baby steps into the world of powerlifting. A few days ago, I had a meltdown on bench day. Bench press was (or still is?) my best lift, but my numbers aren’t budging. I’ve been stuck at a 110lb bench for a few months now, and I became so frustrated after my third failed attempt the other day that tears began to form. Y’all can bug me about crying at the gym (what a wimp, amirite???). My meet in September is so important to me, and this “off” day became the straw that broke my perfectly arched back. I furiously scrolled through my Instagram feed to find some insight into how I’m failing. Are there cues I’m missing? Is my form off? Am I just not meant for powerlifting? I see all of these incredibly strong women benching 135lbs like it was an empty bar, and the inferiority sets in all over again. I’m not worthy! I wanted to quit.

I am my own worst enemy. I’m finding that as I progress further into training, my mental barriers are the toughest part of lifting. I can have my form and mobility down, but my mind tells me I’ll never hit this personal record squat. It’s something that has been ingrained, rehearsed, and is seemingly impossible to unlearn.

I am by no means free of this self-deprecating monologue, but I’m actively acknowledging it. I’m slowly learning to catch myself at these low points and remember the ONLY comparison I should be making: it’s me vs. me.

Fitness in a digital age

In one of my earlier posts, I talk about fitness as an industry and boy, has the industry changed as technology makes fitness more popular. Instead of just seeing our favourite celebs on the big screen, we can now follow their daily activities with ease. We can see Kim K’s workout selfies on Snapchat, Instagram… I’ve even seen her gym selfies on the national news (um, how is that national news?)  Celebrities reveal their workout secrets and if you’re following Kim’s workout regimen every day (she runs 4 miles a day followed by 1000 jump ropes), you might be strapped for time if you don’t call yourself a seasoned runner.

The reality is that if you’re a single mom with two jobs, it’s no surprise that you can’t achieve a Kardashian body. Kim probably has two chefs, three personal trainers, and a surgeon on-call. Her life is all about looking her best. Your life is about bringing home the bacon for your kids. Actors and sponsored athletes make a living off of their bodies. Their gym sessions can range from 4-6 hours. For all of us common folk, this is outrageously unrealistic.

The other troublesome fact is that images online or in print are manipulated. From the documentary Bigger, Faster, Stronger, here is a clip of some photographers talking about editing:

The “after” image for the supplement absolutely astonished me, because to me, that transformation looks very real. The key takeaway is that what you see isn’t always what you get. Photographers and athletes rely on a bunch of different factors (lighting, blurring, etc) in order to project their ideal body to the digital world.

Having a You vs. You Mentality

Because walking into the gym with blinders on isn’t very productive, here are a few things I try to remember when the self-doubts surface:

1. I’m on a path

This path is no one else’s. It is my own. It is full of individual obstacles and triumphs that are completely unique to me.

2. Everyone has a story

We assume that the girl with the flawless curves at the gym also has a perfect life. This is a fallacy. Great body ≠ Perfect life. 

3. Everyone brings experiences with them

Some people have been lifting since they were adolescents, others have started in their mid 30’s. If you’ve been lifting for a year, you won’t be hitting big lifts like someone who has been lifting for their whole adult life.

4. My body is unique to me

It has its own quirks and while some of these quirks are the opposite of a blessing, they are unique to me and I should honour them.

5. Failure and plateaus are normal

Not every week is going to be stellar. You won’t hit records reliably. Each time you fail you get another opportunity to learn and grow in order to battle your weaknesses.

The next time you get mad that a 13 year-old girl can bench press more than you, try to remember that this is all about being better. Feel the cold steel in your hands and tune out the static telling you you’re not good enough because you are good enough – even better than your were before.

So a Crossfitter, Bodybuilder, and Powerlifter Walk up to a Bar…

Just like figure skating and hockey, sprinting and long distance running, sports of the iron variety differ greatly. Even though the equipment remains the same, differences in technique and goals set these three sports apart from the rest.

You’d think that since all three use weights as their tools that they’d all find something in common.

Wrong.

Discrimination against Crossfitters, Bodybuilders, and Powerlifters can be heard amongst any of these iron heavers. Bodybuilders are too vain. Powerlifters lift heavy just so they can stay fat. And Crossfitters… well, do they even lift?

Don’t knock it ’til you try it

I think all of this boils down to a classic example of neophobia: the fear of trying anything new. How will you be able to accurately evaluate something without trying it yourself?

I started out with Zumba. Next, I got into running. Finally, I started lifting weights. I was more interested in body sculpting – most of my workouts I got from Bodybuilding.com’s figure/bikini athletes. My weights weren’t extremely heavy and I did anywhere between 10-12 reps for everything. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but I wanted to lift heavier.

Strength in fitness competitions like bikini and figure competitions is not required. That’s not to say that bikini competitors don’t have immense strength. Canadian athlete, Hailey Goss, can deadlift 300+lbs.

Clearly Hailey knows the feeling of satisfaction and overall badassery you feel when you lift something really heavy from the ground. This is exactly why I decided to take more of a powerlifting approach to my training.

However, I don’t consider myself a strict powerlifter. I’m more of a sweaty generalist. I like doing a lot of obstacle racing (think Tough Mudder and Rugged Maniac). For obstacles, you need a lot of coordination and functional strength to help you. Last summer, I tried Crossfit for 6 weeks.

I’ve never sweat so much in my entire life.

Each WOD exhausted every ounce of power within my body and even though workouts were only 45 minutes in length, each time I wanted to puke mid-sled push. I did discover something I really loved, though, and that was Olympic lifting. I don’t quite have the mobility for it yet, but I really want to make an effort to train with some oly lifts and learn to snatch, jerk, and clean with the best. If you want to get more of a sense of what Crossfit is like, Buzzfeed made a great video:

Timing and high reps give Crossfit its cardio-focused reputation and, if you have a great coach, the “bad-form stereotype” will quickly disappear from your mind.

Where is the love?

Whatever your preference, we all love iron and have the callouses to prove it. There needs to be a paradigm shift within the fitness community because, well, the gym would be a better place if we all supported each other – no matter how we’re lifting.