The problem with #TransformationTuesday: Why you should stop demonizing your “Before” self

For some, killer transformation photos are the reason they do this whole fitness thing in the first place.

Scan any #TransformationTuesday hashtag and you’ll see a common theme: Phrases like “I can’t believe I allowed myself to be that big” or “I feel so disgusted looking at the left photo” echo like a comedic soundboard as you scroll through endless left-right comparisons.

There is undoubtedly a lot of work and dedication that go into any transformation photo – no matter how small the changes are. However, what’s problematic is the self-deprecating talk. This isn’t a contest for how many euphemisms for fat you can string together in a single Instagram caption. Embracing fitness and fitting an active lifestyle into your routine should improve you. Making everything about the tangible results isn’t the point.

For me, fitness quite literally saved my life. I found purpose and found my sport – something my nine year-old wheezing, soccer-playing self wouldn’t have ever dreamt of. In my 20’s and after a bad break up, I found an outlet for my sad energy. Instead of letting inferiority and heartbreak stew and simmer deep inside of me, physically pushing, running, or stomping it out gave me a sense of control over my emotions I didn’t have before. My initial goals were transformational in nature, but today, I am much more appreciative of the confidence and drive fitness and gym-going have given me. It’s a priceless gift that I encourage everyone embarking on a fitness journey to find for themselves – whatever your “fitness” is.

That gift is precisely the reason why you shouldn’t discount that girl/guy on the left. You gave yourself that gift in the moment you decided to make a change. As much as it hurts to look at your left hand-self, that’s still you in that photo. I admire Left-Me for taking the steps (baby-sized and giant) towards where I am today. I went from a predominantly sedentary lifestyle of work, home, study, repeat to fitting in activity where I could, and finally to committing to a sport I love. I admire the strength (both the figurative and literal kind) it took for Before-Me to get where I am today. I respect myself, present and past, for all of the progress and decisions made thus far.

Don’t get hung up on the “I wishes” of life. Many times I have scolded myself for not incorporating working out earlier in my life, but what matters is that I’m here today and thoroughly enjoying my fitness routine. It’s never too late to start something new – whether it’s fitness, a new book, or learning opportunity. Focus on the You that exists, lives, breathes in this moment and not on your unchangeable past.

Nutrition: What you need to know

When you lose 40+lbs, you start getting questions: how’d you do it? What are your workouts like? Can you recommend a meal plan? The truth is, it’s taken me 3 years of experimenting with fitness and nutrition to find the perfect combination for me.

I’m not a nutritionist, so really the only things I can recommend are consistency and dedication. While your workouts are important, the real magic happens in the kitchen. Anyone can go and workout for 2 hours but it takes real commitment to keep nutrition at the forefront. Before you jump into the next fad diet, detox, or juice cleanse you scroll over on Instagram, here are a few things you need to consider about your food preferences and your meal strategy:

Feed your needs

I’ve shared that I grew up with food and that food was there for me emotionally whenever I needed it. In the moments when I was eating, everything was okay. It didn’t matter if I was sad, happy, angry – food was comfort.

I still reach for that unnecessary slice of pie when I feel stressed or even as a reward for myself. What’s different now is that I don’t overindulge (or I try not to). Ignoring my cravings just made me more agitated. Combine a shitty mood with an intense workout and you get SURPRISE! an even shittier mood. Have you ever tried to deadlift your 1RM on a stomach full of baby carrots? I don’t recommend it.

I use flexible dieting because it gives me enough freedom to have the odd donut and still see results. I can eat carbs before a heavy lifting sesh and get the most out of my workouts. Evaluate your goals (strength, marathons, fitness competitor etc.) alongside your individual preferences and then go from there.

Lifestyle

Hey, diet! Don’t tell me how to live my life!

A lot of nutrition gurus might call bullshit on this one, but I think your lifestyle is totally valid in this decision making process.

Do you travel a lot? Constantly on your feet all day with minimal breaks? Strapped for cash? All of these reasons factor into your food choices whether you like to admit it or not. You can be the meal prepping MASTER and still succumb to on-the-run food choices.

In my case, I work part-time (no food or drinks allowed on the sales floor) and don’t make a lot of money (no extra cash for ultra-organic food). Sometimes, my study snack involves protein oats and poptarts. They’re quick, in my fridge, and satisfying. That being said, I make sure that these things fit my macronutrients  for the day. If I’m travelling, there’s no guarantee that there will be a microwave and a minifridge where I’m going. My flexible diet allows me to eat out at restaurants with relative ease. If you’re not willing to give up girl’s night at your fav wine-o joint (I hate to tell you this, but wine has carbs) , maybe that no-carb diet isn’t so great for you.

That being said, there are options if you still want the occasional high-carb refeed. Here’s a great into to carb cycling from Bodybuilding.com.

Don’t be afraid to test drive

I think I’m one of the few people who “diet” and can say they genuinely enjoy their nutrition plan. I didn’t get to this point, though, without some trial and error. Tried paleo, hated it. Tried eating clean, binged on chocolate every 2 days. Your nutrition plan should complement you. Research some nutrition plans that interest you and fit your goals and experiment.

I have the utmost respect for people that eat paleo because it is damn hard. Whole 30 is a great program that allows you to try before you commit to paleo indefinitely. Hey, it’s only 30 days. So if after 30 days it’s not your thing, you didn’t waste 6 months of your time grumbling about missing butter.

Masterpieces aren’t made in a night

Nutrition is probably the most difficult part of any wellness goal. It’s important to know that there will be some growing pains on starting any diet or nutrition plan. You won’t be and aren’t perfect – no one is. The most important part is not eating right but waking up each day and making the conscious decision to keep at it and get back up if you’ve strayed from the path.

Metamorphosis of a Fat Kid

Growing up, I was bullied a lot for being a big boned, hefty, heavy set, a little husky or any other euphemism for “fat” you can think of. At the age of 9 I found myself hoping, wishing, praying I was just a swan gosling living in a duckling’s world and that puberty would solve everything. I would hatch from that cocoon a new woman with looks, personality, and confidence. 10 years later at 19 years old I still remained that awkward caterpillar.

Weight shouldn’t dictate who you are. I say “shouldn’t” because in my case, growing up overweight influenced my identity quite a bit. Even now I gravitate towards the larger sizes and styles – even though I know they’re too bulky for me. I cover my stomach while at the beach or conceal my body as much as possible in public changing areas – even though I’ve worked hard for my flatter tummy and diminished rolls. In the back of my mind elementary school bullies still linger and their voices still carry. Former fat kid syndrome is something I work through daily and although the confidence issues have improved, sometimes I gaze in that mirror and see my 10 year-old self’s plump, sad face staring back at me.

If you were a former fat kid, I encourage you to reflect on that experience. As much as it’s easier to ignore it, it’s much more important to not forget where you came from. Whether you’re a fitness veteran or just starting out, I bet that your fat kid self is thanking you for taking a step towards self-care and wellness.You might not feel like a butterfly yet, but then again, metamorphosis doesn’t happen overnight. Consistency, work, and a lil’ TLC will have you fluttering in no time.

Left: January 2012. Right: February 2016